HOW DO I GET MY PARTNER TO ANTICIPATE MY NEEDS?

Have you ever wished your partner just knew what to do for you or how to help you? Do you think to yourself how easy your relationship would be if your partner would anticipate your needs? 

A partner who loves you wants you to be happy and content in the relationship. That means they are willing to do what they can to take part in that happiness. One way for them to do that is to be proactive in anticipating your needs.

In order for them to be successful in understanding your needs in advance there has to be clear communication from you. Here are a few ways you can help your partner be there for you the way you need them to be. 

USE YOUR WORDS

Our caregivers and teachers taught us a life skill when they told us to “use your words” in place of crying, getting angry or using force to get the point across that we have needs we want met. Using words to express how you feel, what you enjoy, and what you want to happen in situations will guide your partner on how to anticipate your needs. Teams work best when they give one another something to work with. Verbally communicating your needs is a great way to help your teammate. They can then listen to your request and desires and intentionally act on them. 

BE CONSISTENT IN BEHAVIOR 

It would be perfect if your partner was a mind reader but since they are not, learning what you like by your consistent behavior is another way for them to be proactive about anticipating your needs. Your habits and routines help your partner get an idea of what they can do for you and how you want to be treated. When your partner pays attention to your system or methods it contributes to them seeing patterns they can use as a blueprint.  

PRACTICE PATIENCE

It will take time for your partner to learn who you are. Especially if how they would handle a situation or what they like is different from you. You may come from diverse backgrounds and the choices you make on how to get the same needs met may seem unusual. Your way is not wrong and neither are your partners, it is just different. Be patient with them while they learn what ways you prefer. Your partner has to keep in mind you are your own person and the way they like things to be will not always be the same as you and that is okay. That conscious thought pattern will open the door for acceptance and unconditional love.

LEARN TO SELF SOOTHE

An important part of getting your needs met is knowing what your needs are. Some are obvious and straightforward such as water, food and shelter. These are needs your partner can easily assist with. Other needs like self-esteem and feeling accomplished require a deeper understanding of yourself. These are needs you must look within to get met. If you are having a hard time understanding your own needs it will be difficult for your partner to anticipate them and it becomes a guessing game that can frustrate you and your partner. Your partner can support you in the journey to self fulfillment by encouraging you, celebrating you and standing by you but they are incapable of doing it for you.

Teamwork will always make the dream work. Share this article with your partner and take turns asking what needs you have. Use one of the techniques to help that need be met.